You Are Loved-First Things First

When my kids were younger and their behavior was driving me crazy, I hadn’t a clue how transformative it was for kids to feel loved and accepted at their core before their hard-to-accept behaviors are dealt with.  I reverted to “get them back on track NOW”.  After all, that’s how I was raised. And, although I swore I would do things differently, stress me out and out popped the old model—one that didn’t help anyone, including myself, feel loved or accepted.  If I wanted to change, I had to practice to be different, not just aspire to be different. Well, after years of in-depth study of behavioral neuroscience and personal practice, mixed with a humbling wisdom learned over time, I share with you some ideas you might try to help your child feel your unconditional love and benefit from your guidance and loving limits…connect, then redirect.

Karolynn Flynn, M.Ed, Program Chair, Raising Resilience

How does a parent convey unconditional love and support?

Here are some suggestions when you need a refresher:

  • I’m glad you are you.
  • You and I can disagree and I’ll still always love you.
  • You’re lovable just the way you are.
  • I love you, not your grades.
  • I love your happy and your grumpy—your happy is just more fun.
  • No, you didn’t keep our agreement, but that doesn’t mean I love you less. It means you try again.
  • My love is with you no matter where, no matter what happens.
  • Welcome home. Love seeing you at the end of the day.
  • I love you and I have faith in your ability to solve this. I’ll support you but can’t do it for you.
  • I love you but I don’t like the choice you made. Help me understand what happened.

Adapted from Raising Resilience Parenting Curriculum by Karolyn Flynn.

Join in an Island conversation:

What do you do to show your child unconditional support?

Please share and help us learn from each other.